god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
