is your mom at the bar?
Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
I'm jealous of your bromance
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
