the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
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