He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
Randomize
