he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
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