meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Randomize