There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
