The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
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