My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize
