i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize
