so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
