i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
last night I used snow as a chaser
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
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