Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Randomize
