your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Randomize
