Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
