I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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