You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
