Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
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