I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
It's shark week go big or go home
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
