Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
