Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
You made out with two different species that night
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Randomize
