Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
