dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize
