Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
