The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
Randomize
