moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
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