Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
