Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
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