me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
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