I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
You dont lie about slip and slides
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
Randomize
