OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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