my mouth tastes like poor choices
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
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