put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
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