hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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