Sry I called you an 8
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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