but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
Randomize
