Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
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