Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize