you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
