Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Randomize
