I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Hippo gnu deer
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
Randomize
