Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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