bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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