i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize
