DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Randomize
