i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
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