five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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