my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
Sorry my hands just texted you
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
