I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
Such a big mess for such a small penis
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize