My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
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