Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
Randomize
