Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Randomize