Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
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