I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
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