also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
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